As you may or may not have noticed, I've been absolutely ignoring this blog for the past month or so. I have no explanation other than a general burnout. We've all been there, I know.
Adding to this feeling, I had my endocrinology check-up last week. I took an at-home A1c test a month ago, just to self-monitor, and was pleased that it showed a 0.3 drop from my last appointment. Needless to say, I went to my appointment last week feeling very confident that I would be solidly in the "under 7" category.
As my fellow T1's know, every endo appointment comes with that hold-your-breath moment when you get your report card A1c number. This appointment felt different. I was confident and upbeat, excited even, to hear my number. As Dr. K flipped through my electronic chart, I just KNEW he would say 6.5. Imagine the sheer disappointment when he reported that it was a full point higher than that at a 7.5. With the at-home test that registered a 7 only four weeks ago, coupled with my last appointment at a 7.3, I just don't get it! I've had my CGM on almost constantly in the past several weeks, and I've seen nothing to verify this higher number. Could it be a fluke?
Dr. K understood my frustration, and practically (and comically) panicked himself when I teared up a little while I explained my at-home test and confusion over this number. We went over my CGM graphs and tightened some settings on the pump. I go back in a month for a retest, which I am again expecting to be better. While Dr. K wouldn't say if he thought the number might be an error, he agreed that it didn't make sense.
Logically, I know that this A1c is just a blip on the radar. Emotionally, though, I am so disappointed and despondent over this number. Until the next appointment, I am stalking my numbers in a borderline OCD fashion, and aiming for the best! Because, really, what else can we do?